The Night Before Christmas

3/5/06 Today was very long, and I guess the anxiety in me is beginning to show. I didn't sleep well last night, and I felt it today. At least I'll get some good sleep tonight. I must apologize to my Constitution Boot Camp mom, I haven't had time to go out and do any tourist things. I thought I would tomorrow, but the schedule is pretty tight. Most things aren't open even if I did wake up extra early. Someday I'll cram it in to my life. Today was more policy and PC procedures. It is very helpful with all the anxieties and questions that have been milling around in my head. This is great, but it seems to have opened up a can of worms in my mind. I have been compartmentalizing things so much about PC that each new step seems like it is far away, that I'll get to it at some point, so don't stress right now. Well, now is that "some point" for a lot of things. As we get to know each other and the Peace Corps, I realize its time to actually deal with those situations that were previously only a fascinating adventure somewhere in the future. When that adventure starts, it blows the mind a little. I will have little to no language skills. I will learn Arabic at first, and then mainly I'll focus on one of two Berber dialects. Which one I won't know until I get there. I don't know the customs, as much as I've studied them. I don't know if I am appearing as the "slobby American" or if I'll be a good example. I will, with regularity, get to squat over a pit in the floor, feet in the foot-places, and bid farewell to the snow peas I ate tonight at dinner. I will experience first hand the "left hand" phenomenon. What if I offend someone with my blog? What if I DO burn down the village? What if the world blows up? My mind is overwhelmed, and I am very tired. All that said, I am at the same time very excited. I wish I was there NOW. I want to meet my host family. I want to get off the plane and gaze in wonder at my new home. What is really great about all this is that there are fifty other people who are feeling the feelings I am. I am not alone. I CAN do this. I will do it one step at a time. Time to put all the worms back into the can now, because I won't get any sleep any other way. This is like the night before Christmas for grown-ups. Only, more terrifying.