4am Musings

Last night, when I was apparently supposed to be at work, I watched the movie "Crash". It piqued my interest slightly when it came into theaters, but I never got around to going to see it. It was on my Netflix list and just showed up last week, so like I do in my free time, I popped it in and watched it. It was very real. I loved it, but it made me cry. Growing up in So Cal and then rural Maryland, I saw racism. I felt racist feelings. Thankfully, I was raised better than to live by them, but there is no doubt in my mind that they are there. I think most people have certain types of discomfort with certain people. Whether it is right, deserved, moral, whatever. We all do it. Even when we hate that we do it. I wonder if people who haven't lived in very diverse settings can relate to that movie? I wonder if not ever seeing the bad parts of a person of another culture prevents one from judging others from that culture more quickly? I think not. I think that the negative experiences we have with others cloud our judgement, but do not influence us as much as the positive experiences we have with others. I think that we as humans are drawn to self-serving things by nature. The beauty of our nature is that we try to fight against those things and triumph over our natural selves. In that struggle, we grow into better, happier beings. We are drawn to the goodness in others, and that is why being able to experience diversity is so important in our development as humans. We need the variety of opportunities to see goodness in others. We unfortunately get the bad along with the good, as is human nature, but this is the beauty of life. There is a constant challenge and constant opportunity to grow. I cannot imagine my life if I'd never met anyone different than me, if I'd never tried something new. Ooo! I can't wait to go to the Peace Corps! I wish it was next week, then I'd be able to get my dermatologist's note and send it in. I really hope I can get my credit card paid off in time. I am so excited about getting out there and seeing a whole new world. I hope that I can be someone that fosters positive stereotypes of Americans. I hope that I can help the people I get to serve in at least that way.